Cocksuckers

Today I was grilling, and I ate some brats. I threw part of the buns in the lawn, and then waited with the pellet gun. I've now got 14 dead birds in the lawn. It was a good day.

Drunken fun

Yesterday I went to the country with a shotgun and a case of beer. I got drunk, and I shot about 30 birds. I shot a pheasant or two, a few crows, three cardinals, and a shitload more I don't know the names of. I was drunk as shit. I saw some cows, and the gun scared the shit out of them. I wanted to kill one and cut a porterhouse out of the motherfucker. The fun ended when a farmer drove up, and threatened to call the cops. What an asshole. I still consider it a success.

Retarted birds

If ketchup is a condiment for fags and broads, then the penguin is the ketchup of the bird population. These pieces of shit are good for nothing but living at the zoo. These stupid assholes can't even fly. These retarded fucking birds aren't afraid of people either, which means if you want to chop one's head off with a machete it's not that hard to do. I encourage anyone to try this, I want to kill these pieces of shit, and then eat them.

Bird Bath

I installed one of those bird bath fucking things in my backyard the other day. So about an hour ago, I was sitting on my back deck, and two birds were fucking around in it, and it looked like they were trying to fuck. I nailed one in the gut. I've been using hollow point pellets, so I'm sure it did a number on the cocksucker.

Today's fun

Today I took a field trip to the woods. My pellet gun was with me, and I killed a lot of those fucking birds. I even took a few shots at a bald eagle. Those motherfuckers really need to go extinct. I was angry today, and I killed a shitload of birds. Those motherfuckers.

Wind Power

Wind power is good for one reason: those fucking birds fly into those turbines. It's a fucking miracle, we can generate energy and kill birds at the same time. Those fucking blades are killing more birds per day than I could imagine with the pellet gun. For these reasons, I will do anything to get more windmills built around these parts.

A bird that needs to die

The California Condor

This motherfucker's endangered, so if you see one, shoot to kill. These things are really a pain in the ass. They make unnecessary noise, and they're pieces of shit in general. Fuck this bird.