I shot a pigeon in the face

Today I was grilling, just minding my own business. I had my pellet gun with me, of course. So I was grilling a steak, and a pigeon landed on my driveway. I was as smooth as possible, pumped the gun a few times, and shot it in the face. It was great. I then dumped some lighter fluid on the body, and burned the son of a bitch.

The bird I like

I like chickens, and not just because they taste good. Cockfighting is a great sport, and I think it should be the national passtime. There's nothing like betting a bunch of Beaners on which chicken's going to get killed first. Let's face it: gambling is a way of life, and one of the best ways to participate is a good old cockfight. Plus, you can eat the loser at the end.

Damn Birds woke me up this morning

The motherfuckers were chirping and shit while I was trying to sleep. I was hungover, and so after a while, I went shopping. I got a scope for the pellet gun, and some birdfeeders for the backyard. I'm going to set up the birdfeeders tomorrow, and then it's open season.

Today's death count

Today I only killed two birds. I think they were sparrows. I found a nest, though, and when I get my hands on some fireworks that shits getting blown up. Fuck birds.

How I'm Going to Kill this Shit

It's time to go Passenger Pigeon on these motherfuckers. I think the plan of action here should be not to just kill all the birds possible, but to go with specific species. I'm going to start killing endangered ones first, that way we can extinct that shit rather quickly. The only birds not on the list are chickens and turkeys, because they taste good. I think KFC is doing a bang up job with their chickens, it's a good idea to make them suffer before they die. As for me, I'll be up at the butt crack of dawn drinking and shooting.

Summer is here

Summer time has come again, and that means one thing. I'm gonna get drunk on the porch and kill the shit out of some birds.
Just got a new pellet gun, she's a beaut. I really fucking hate birds, all they ever do is shit on stuff and make unnecessary noise. There are a lot of cardinals in my area, and I'm gonna shoot one in the face in the next few days. Next week sometime, I think I'm gonna go for a walk in the woods and shoot an eagle. Keep me updated on your bird killing, we've got to organize.